Red Dawn (1984)

Starring: Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, C. Thomas Howell, Lea Thompson, Ben Johnson, Harry Dean Stanton, Ron O'Neal, William Smith, Powers Boothe

Director: John Milius

Genre: Action, Adventure, Drama, War

Rating: C

This is not a good movie.  I'm just going to stick that out there: Red Dawn is not good.  At best it's a very conservative, rather violent movie about a situation that is really hard to buy into.  When the premise of your movie is that the United States is caught unaware by a Soviet invasion and the only people who fight back (at least for a good chunk of it) are a group of teenagers in Colorado, I kind of have a hard time buying into it.

So, yeah.  At some point in the 1980s the USA becomes increasingly isolated when several European nations, all of them except for the UK, withdraw from NATO, at a time when the Warsaw Pact is being aggressively expanded.  In addition to this, there's a wheat harvest failure in the Ukraine and a communist coup in Mexico.  In order to cope, the Soviets and Cubans invade the United States.  Specifically, they invade the small town of Calumet, Colorado and quickly completely take over the town - and many other parts of the USA.  Enter our heroes, a small group of teenagers lead by Jed and Matt Eckert (Swayze and Sheen), who manage to escape the occupation and begin to form a resistance.

Okay, so 1. I do not buy that a group of teenagers who have no military experience and really are just kids who grew up hunting would be able to effectively fight the KGB.  2. I do not buy that the Soviets would be able to invade Colorado without being noticed well before getting to Colorado.  3. NATO consists of more than just the USA and European countries.  4. By the time of the movie, the Cold War was kind of dying down and it was beginning to be pretty clear that the Soviets? Weren't going to win it.

Actually, let's go back to number 2 here.  There are a few ways that the Soviets/Communists could have invaded the USA based on the premise of this movie.  They could have come up through Mexico, in which case they would have hit California, Arizona, Texas, etc, first.  They could have come via the Pacific, in which case they would have hit Alaska, Canada, and Washington state first.  They could have come up through Cuba, in which they would have probably hit Florida first. Finally, they could have flown over the Arctic Sea, in which case thy would have hit Canada first.  There is no way that they randomly hit fucking Colorado first - which thus brings to question just how the hell this was a surprise attack.  Dear movie makers: please consider geography.

This overall problem comes into play with issue number 3 here.  Canada is a part of NATO. Canada has always been a part of NATO.  In the premise of this movie, Canada is still a part of NATO.  In all likelyhood, Canada also had to be invaded in order to get to the USA here.  Thus, two nations would have been invaded.  Furthermore, the whole "the UK is still a part of NATO" thing comes into play.  Even without NATO, Canada has a very delicate relationship with the UK and it's a bit hard to buy that the UK does nothing to come to the aid of two allies, both which they're entered into military alliances with and one which is a part of the Commonwealth.  Just saying.

Then there's the whole issue of 1.  I'm not even sure I want to go there.  Yes, Americans are known for their gun loving ways - yes, it's somewhat of a stereotype.  Yes, Guerrilla warfare can completely screw over traditional armies, and in a lot of ways that's what the Communists are here.  No, a handful of teenagers are not going to successfully fight the KGB for long, nor are they going to be the only resistance.  That's just ridiculous, sorry.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

Starring: Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, James Nesbitt, Ken Stott, Andy Serkis

Director: Peter Jackson

Genre: Adventure, Fantasy

Rating: A-

I wasn't sure whether I was going to like this movie or not going into it - I've never been a huge Lord of the Rings fan, but when I read The Hobbit (something like 15 years ago) I really did enjoy it. I was sure it was going to be good, but I didn't expect to be amazed.  To be honest, that's exactly what happened.  It was good, there were even parts that were great, and it brought my attention to some actors who I doubt I would have ever really noticed without it (notably Dean O'Gorman, who I haven't seen in anything since he was Iolaus in Young Hercules alongside Ryan Gosling), but it didn't really blow me away.  I know, I know, I'm a bad fan of fantasy if I don't love the works of Tolkien, but I don't.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is the first instalment of a prequel trilogy to the Lord of the Rings trilogy - and if you sci-fi fantasy fans out there don't instinctively cringe when you hear the words "prequel trilogy" I question you.  Set sixty years prior to the events of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The Hobbit tells the story of how the hobbit Bilbo Baggins (Freeman) joined the company of dwarves lead by Thorin Oakenshield (Armitage) on a journey across Middle-earth to reclaim their lost homeland, the Lonely Mountain, from Smaug the dragon.  The dwarves and Bilbo are joined the the wizard Gandalf the Grey (McKellen).  The group comes across Trolls and Orcs on Wargs - the latter who which are hunting specifically for Thorin - Elves, Goblins, and the wizard Radagast the Brown (Sylvester McCoy), who tells of a necromancer at Dol Gulder (played by Benedict Cumberbatch).  Most important of all, however, Bilbo encounters the slimey creature known as Gollum, who carries with him a mysterious ring.

Okay, so I will say this film is fun - in a lot of ways even more so than the Lord of the Rings films were.  There is no dark gloom hanging over our dwarves and hobbit yet, as they embark on an adventure.  They're not trying to save the world, they're trying to kill a dragon and take back a home.  This instantly makes The Hobbit a lot lighter than its predecessor-sequel, a fact that is added to by the way that it's shot - the colours are a lot brighter and cleaner than Lord of the Rings ever was.  There's also a lot more humour here, notably among the dwarves (and their interactions with Bilbo) and Gollum - although Gollum's despair does succeed in bringing a tear to the eye.

I think my favourite part of this movie is the fact that the goal is a lot clearer than in The Hobbit.  I realize that things are about to get a bit murky - what with the ring, and the necromancer, and all - but The Hobbit sets out to be a film about dwarves and a hobbit going to a mountain to fight a dragon, and in the end that's what the series is - or should be - about.  There's other stuff going on too - the ring, the necromancer, the orcs - but the end goal is clear.  You don't feel like anyone is about to stab someone in the back or anything - however unlikely this company is, and however much they might not always like each other, you never feel that they're going to kill each other.  Or at least, not yet.

The thing that I disliked the most about this film, however, is the way it tries to tie into the original series and, more importantly, the way that it utilizes the source material - and strays from the source material.  I might not be the biggest Tolkien fan, but I really don't like seeing people try to add to a work of literature when they make the conversion.  Sure, I understand some things have to get left behind, or merged with other things, but you don't need to add new parts to the story.  The way they did that really bothered me - but then, I suppose if Peter Jackson didn't add to the material, he couldn't as easily make The Hobbit into a trilogy.  I will say that I did really enjoy the way the film used Ian Holm to set up the idea of Bilbo writing a memoir of sorts about his journey, but I don't think that Elijah Wood as Frodo was necessary at all.

Rise of the Guardians (2012)

Starring: Chris Pine, Alec Baldwin, Hugh Jackman, Isla Fisher, Jude Law

Director: Peter Ramsey

Genre: Animation, Adventure, Family

Rating: B

"It is our job to protect the children of the world. For as long as they believe in us, we will guard them with our lives.."

As far as Christmas movies go, this one's a bit awkward.  In a way, it kind of reminds me of The Nightmare Before Christmas simply because while appearing to be about Christmas, it's actually about something more than that and Christmas itself is rather secondary.

Rise of the Guardians follows the spirit of winter, Jack Frost (Pine), on a journey as he comes to realize his destiny.  Opening 300 years ago, we see Jack emerge as Jack Frost, with no memories of who he was before, having been lifted from the ice by the Man in the Moon (who also tells Jack his name).  While Jack has great power, however, he is invisible to everyone, since no one believes in him.  Fast forward 300 years, where Jack is still unbelieved by all, the Guardians of Childhood, lead by North (Baldwin), are informed that the Bogeyman, Pitch Black (Law), has returned and it is up to them and newly appointed Guardian, Jack Frost, to stop him.  Pitch has lived much like Jack, invisible and unbelieved, but has figured out how to attack the children of the world by transforming the dreams created by the Sandman (who does not speak) into nightmares.  Pitch's ultimate goal, however, is to make the Guardians feel what he has felt, and cause all the children in the world to stop believing in them - and thus make them invisible and powerless.

To start, I really loved the portrayal of the different Guardians, although I was a bit confused by their loss of power.  As we see that Jack Frost still has his powers without being believed in, I had to wonder why the other Guardians didn't also have their powers, or at least some of them.  Although, I guess perhaps we're only seeing the limited manifestation of Jack's powers as it is before he becomes believed by many, and it is not until he is believed in that his true power really begins to manifest - perhaps North, Tooth, and Bunny are all weakened so much because they have forgotten what it's like to not be believed in, since they've all been around for so long.  The worlds that each inhabit, with the exception of Jack Frost who is very much of this world, are absolutely amazing though, so I can't blame them for not knowing how to deal in the real world.  I'm a bit torn on who I loved most here - North, who lives in his snow palace filled with dimwitted elfs and intelligent yetis; Tooth (Fisher), whose airy castle is filled with the baby teeth, and thus memories, of everyone; or Bunny (Jackman), who's bright and festive world is very much reminiscent of Easter Island.  We don't get to see the Sandman's home, but we do get to see much of his sandy dream creations which is awesome, and we also saw Pitch's lair which is completely perfect for his character.  I look forward to a future installment in this series (if it becomes one), where we get to see Jack Frost's home.

I also liked the story, particularly how it wasn't simply about saving Christmas.  The competition between the different characters, even the ones who were technically working together, was great.  The new take on old classic characters was also great - especially as it kind of took things on a completely different path than we're used to.  I love the idea of Santa looking (and sounding) like a member of the Russian mafia.  The whole idea of the Easter Bunny was great too.  This movie was just all around good fun.

Thor (2011)

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Stellan Skarsgård, Colme Feore, Ray Stevenson, Idris Elba, Kat Dennings, Rene Russo, Anthony Hopkins

Director: Kenneth Branagh

Genre: Action, Adventure, Comic

Rating: B+

Many years ago a bitter war was fought between the Frost Giants of Jotunheim and the warriors of Asgard, over the future of the nine realms which the Asgardians protect.  Now, in the present, the king of Asgard, Odin (Hopkins), is preparing to adbicate his throne in favour of his son, Thor (Hemsworth).  Before he can do so, however, Frost Giants attack Asgard in order to retrieve the Casket of Ancient Winters, the source of their power, from the Asgardians.  In retaliation, Thor decides to lead an attack on the Frost Giants, accompanied by his brother Loki (Hiddleston), their childhood friend Sif (Jaimie Alexander) and the Warriors Three, Volstagg (Ray Stevenson), Fandral (Joshua Dallas), and Hogun (Tadanobu Asano).  The battle destroys the truce between the two races, and Odin must interfere in order to save the Asgardians.  As punishment, he strips Thor of his powers and exiles him to Earth, although he sends Thor's hammer, Mjolnir, as well, so that if and when Thor is worthy he can pick it up.  On Earth, Thor is found by astrophysicist Jane Foster (Portman), her assistant Darcy Lewis (Dennings), and mentor Dr. Erik Selvig (Skarsgård).  His hammer, however, is found by the local populace, and eventually attracts the attention of S.H.E.I.L.D.  Thor must find his hammer and return to Asgard, before the Frost Giants can take over.

This was a fun movie, as all the Marvel Cinemetic Universe films tend to be.  Thor is, in my opinion, absolutely amazing and clearly worthy of a standalone series - which is something that Marvel seems to struggle in distinguishing at times.  A lot of the Avengers are great, and most of them deserve their own opportunity to shine in the sun, but some don't.  Going into this film, I wasn't really sure about whether I thought Thor was one of those shining characters or not and I really questioned just how he fit into the greater scheme of the universe already established by characters like Iron Man and The Hulk.  In the end, however, I think he really fit well and did a great job of adding to the feel of this series.

The other thing that really worked was Loki.  The two most important characters in this film are the brothers (no offense to love interest Natalie Portman), and they really mesh well.  They both go through transitions in this film and I love how you see where they come from and where they end up.  Part of me would have liked a bit more back story to Loki - it feels almost like he starts this film a few steps ahead of the rest of us, and we're all left trying to catch up (although, Thor does take very big steps).  As for the Thor/Jane relationship... I love how it kind of sneaks up on both of them, even if the audience is completely expecting it the entire time.  Thor has to change in order to be the man for Jane, and it is this change that makes him the man that he needs to be in order to be the god that his father wants him to be.  I'm really looking forward to how this relationship continues to develop in later films - I was actually rather disappointed that she didn't make an appearance in The Avengers, but I do see how it could have potentially taken away from that film.  Either way, I really enjoyed this movie.

Skyfall (2012)

Starring: Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, Judi Dench, Ralph Fiennes, Albert Finney, Naomie Harris, Bérénice Marlohe

Director: Sam Mendes

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: B+

During a mission in Turkey Bond (Craig) is shot by another MI6 agent, Eve (Harris) and presumed dead.  The mission was an integral one, an attempt to retrieve a stolen computer hard drive that contained details of almost all undercover NATO agents in terrorist organizations. With Bond presumably dead, however, the thief gets away.  Fast forward a couple months and M (Dench) is being pressured to retire by Intelligence Security Committee Chairman Gareth Mallory (Fiennes).  Then MI6 is hacked, an explosion occurs in the offices, and the names of several NATO agents are released.  Bond hears of the attack and decides to come out of the retirement that he had decided to take following his presumed death.

I really liked this movie.  Two things pop out right away; first there's the fact that while the story isn't a continuation of Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace it's still a sequel to this new Bond, and it really pays tribute to things that we saw being developed in these earlier films.  The second thing is that, in continuing with this tribute, Skyfall also pays tribute to the older Bonds, especially the original ones.  There are a lot of little references and allusions to the origins of Bond, which I absolutely loved.  There's even a point when Bond and villain Silva (Bardem) simulate a sort of "toast" with a 1962 whiskey, in tribute to the 50th anniversary of Bond.

Beyond that, I liked the plot of the movie overall.  It goes back to the rouge agent plot, which Bond really likes playing with, but also nicely plays off the pairing of Bond versus someone who really was his predecessor. There's a lot of build up on the relationship between this Bond and this M, which I loved. I also really liked the action sequences, from the really extravagant ones to the less extravagant ones - personally, I really loved the silouhetted fight between Bond and Patrice (Ola Rapace) in Shanghai.  It might have been my favourite moment, or at least fight scene, out of the movie - which says a lot because there were a lot of really good ones.

There's also a lot of humour here.  It doesn't descend into the campy level of previous Bonds, and at times is intentionally uncomfortable, but I liked it.  I like the idea of Bond being funny, as long as it's not ridiculously so.  There are some great moments between Bond and most of the characters.  I thought it was well done.  What I didn't think was well done was Naomie Harris' Bond girl.  I really wasn't a big fan of her character in general, and she kind of left me with a sour taste in my mouth following the movie.  I understand where they were trying to go with her, but I wasn't a fan.

Quantum of Solace (2008)

Starring: Daniel Craig, Judi Dench, Olga Kurylenko, Mathieu Amalric, Gemma Arterton, Jeffrey Wright, Giancarlo Giannini

Director: Marc Forster

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: C+

I'm not sure I entirely get the hate for this movie.  It's definitely not the best in the series, but it's far from the worst - editor of Famous Marni Weisz said of the title "Yes, it's a bad title," but "At least it's not Octopussy."  I kind of felt that way about a lot of the movie in general; yeah, it's not great, but at least it's not Octopussy, or really any number of bad Bond movies.  At least it wasn't Die Another Day or Moonraker - and I could go on here.

In what is really a direct sequel to Casino Royale, Bond (Craig) is back and this time looking into the organization Quantum, the organization behind the events in Casino.  It has been revealed that Quantum's reach is far greater than previously believed, even going so far as to have placed a double agent as M (Dench)'s bodyguard.  Bond discovers that Quantum, through its leading member Dominic Greene (Amalric) is presently helping an exiled Bolivian general to overthrow his government, and Bond sets out to stop them.  Everything goes to shit, however, when Bond kills an advisor to the British Prime Minister and has his privileges revoked - causing him to once again turn into a rouge agent.

Despite being an action flick this was a rather slow movie, which hindered it a lot.  It was also a complicated one, which once again was a hinderance.  I liked the idea of Quantum and look forward to it being revisited in later films - it's very SPECTRE-esque, and I liked SPECTRE.  I think, however, in portraying Quantum here they got a bit carried away.  It's rather disappointing; the thing that made Casino Royale so great was its sheer simplicity and the way it balanced the poker game with the action sequences.

The one thing that I did really like about Quantum, however, was the many allusions it makes to previous films.  Still no Q or Moneypenny, but there are other little references to the earlier films.  My favourite has got to be the moment when Bond found the dead girl on the bed, covered in oil.  It was a really good shout out to Goldfinger and, in my mind at least, showed that while this Bond is far more serious than his precursors, he's still Bond and he knows what came before him.

Casino Royale (2006)

Starring: Daniel Craig, Judi Dench, Eva Green, Mads Mikkelsen

Director: Martin Campbell

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: A

I loved this movie.  That's something I haven't said about any of the Bonds so far, but I did.  There was a lot going on, but at the same time it was so simplistic that I was able to really get into it and completely follow what was going on.  Plus, there's the whole Bond (Craig) in the blue swim trunks thing - this is something that they've done a couple times with Bond girls, but never really with a Bond, and really never before has a Bond looked so good.

The plot here is pretty simple: Casino Royale is an origins story for our Bond and serves to really reboot the series - all of the stupid shit that Bond got up to in the previous films no longer counts.  I like that, he got up to a lot of stupid shit and the idea that each movie was related to the previous ones was getting to be a bit much.  On one of his first missions Bond prevent a terrorist attack at Miami International Airport, during which time Bond foils the plans of banker and terrorist financer Le Chiffre (Mikkelsen).  This leaves Le Chiffre under pressure to recoup his clients money, which leads to him setting up a high stakes Texas hold'em poker tournament at the Casino Royale in Montenegro.  Reenter Bond, who is sent to enter the tournament by MI6.  He's put into touch with Vesper Lynd (Green), who is a Treasury agent and provides the $10 million buy-in, and René Mathis (Giancarlo Giannini), Bond's contact in Montenegro.  Also introduced to us here is regular Bond acquaintance, CIA agent Felix Leiter (Jeffrey Wright), who is also playing in the tournament.

I loved this movie.  Have I said that yet?  The lead in was a bit much, but that's pretty typical of a Bond film.  Once it got into things, with the Casino and what not, it really got rather solid.  The way it juxtaposed the seemingly intense poker scenes (which, I suppose would have been more intense had I known absolutely anything about poker) with the intense action scenes was great.  There really was no moment in this that I found myself staring at the screen going "are you fucking serious" - which is not something that can be said for, really, any previous Bond film.  It's not hokey or lame, or ridiculous and over the top.  There are a couple moments that kind of push it, but the film always reeled things in before crossing the line.

The other thing that I really liked about this movie was how much it alluded to previous ones, while still being original.  There's a lot of moments that remind you of earlier Bond films, including Bond walking out of the water in the blue bathing suit, but none that make you want to roll your eyes and go "I've seen this before."  This is something that really continues on throughout the Daniel Craig films and is, in my opinion, really well done.  Also, have I mentioned that I love Judi Dench's M?  She's just absolutely awesome, and continues to be awesome in Casino Royale.  Which, really, goes without saying, it's Dame Judi Dench.

Die Another Day (2002)

Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Judi Dench, John Cleese, Halle Berry, Toby Stephens, Rick Yune, Rosamund Pike, Will Yun Lee, Michael Madsen, Rachel Grant

Director: Lee Tamahori

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: C

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this movie.  While it does escape from the evil Soviets plot, the twist did surprise me, and I really liked a lot of the references and allusions to previous Bonds, it was also overly complicated, cheesy, and a bit too much.  Roger Moore said of the film "I thought it just went too far – and that’s from me, the first Bond in space! Invisible cars and dodgy CGI footage? Please!"  That's actually pretty much exactly how I feel.  I like Brosnan overall as a Bond, but this movie in general felt like it should have been a Roger Moore one - and in my opinion, that's not a good thing.

The background to this is that Bond (Brosnan) was captured by the North Koreans while on a mission related to illegally traded African conflict diamonds.  After 14 months of captivity Bond is released in exchange for the release of North Korean agent Zao (Yune), whose face had been disfigured by diamond fragments during the struggle with Bond.  Once released, Bond is suspended from active duty because M (Dench) doesn't believe that he hasn't leaked information, so Bond escapes to complete his mission.  In Havana (because that where you go when your mission involves North Korea) Bond meets NSA agent Giacinti 'Jinx' Johnson (Berry), who he follows (along with Zao) to a gene therapy treatment, where more conflict diamonds are discovered, this time with the company crest of British billionaire Gustav Graves (Stephens).  Bond returns to England to continue the investigation, where he meets fellow MI6 agent Miranda Frost (Pike), who is undercover as Graves' assistant.  Points if you guess who's sleeping with who!

There's a lot about this movie that is really classic Bond and in a way, I admire Tamahori for trying to recreate that feel of the series.  The problem is, however, that you really can't go back.  What made movies like Dr. No work only worked because of the time in which they were created.  Outside of the sixties and seventies, classic Bond doesn't work as well; that was one of the problems of the Roger Moore films.  Die Another Day fails even more because in addition to trying to grasp that classic feel it also tries to incorporate new technology, namely CGI.  The result is rather disastrous.  No, the result is horrendous.  Actually, there's more to it than that.  Another part of the problem is that while trying to envoke a lot of the old classic feel Die fails to intentionally invoke the humour and the cheese.  As such, it's a lame and cheesy movie that fails to realize it's as much.  It's okay to be ridiculous, when you know that's what you're doing - that's why Dr. Strangelove is so awesome.  If you take yourself seriously but fail to be serious, you just don't work out in the end.

The World is Not Enough (1999)

Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Judi Dench, Sophie Marceau, Robert Carlyle, Denise Richards

Director: Michael Apted

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: C-

I didn't actually need to watch this movie to know what would happen in it.   A plot twist is always great, and their are some movies (as well as other works of fiction) that handle the twist so adeptly that when it happens you're left flabbergasted.  Others you can figure out easily enough, but the way it happens is still enjoyable so even if you're not surprised it's still great.  The World is Not Enough, however, is so predictable that you can figure out the bulk of the plot, twist included, by the time M's finished her initial brief.  There's no suspense, no surprise, nothing.

A British oil tycoon, who happened to have been M (Judi Dench)'s friend, has been killed and his daughter, Elektra King (Maurceau) has been threatened.  Bond is sent to investigate and protect Elektra, during which he uncovers a plot that involves Soviet terrorist Renard (Carlyle) and nuclear physicist Christmas Jones (Richards).  Renard previously kidnapped Elektra, and it's believed that he's going to make an attack on her again, while Christmas fits in in a weird way.... there's an oil pipeline and a silo and it's needlessly complicated.  If you've started making connections and figuring out who's good and who's bad, and what blows up what you're not alone.  Oh, bonus points as usual if you guess who sleeps with Bond.

I'm really not sure what to say about this movie beyond the fact that it was predictable to the point that I couldn't enjoy it.  It was just... disappointing.  One thing I did like, however, was the introduction of the new Q, or in this case the Q-to-be.  Here he's called R (John Cleese), although jokingly so, and is introduced as the current Q (Desmond Llewelyn)'s assistant.  From what I understand, there weren't actual plans to have Llewelyn retire from the franchise and "R" was just introduced as a bit of a joke gag, and it's done wonderfully so.  Llewelyn's death prevented his return to the franchise in later movies, so in Die Another Day Cleese steps up.  As such, this is Llewelyn's last film in the franchise - after having been in 17 films, and having worked with five different Bonds.

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Judi Dench, Jonathan Pryce, Michelle Yeoh, Teri Hatcher

Director: Roger Spottiswoode

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: C+

Bond (Brosnan) is back, saving the world from another techno-terrorist.  Media baron Elliot Carver (Pryce) has a plot to provoke a war between China and the United Kingdom, in a manner that would give him the exclusive broadcasting rights to it.

This was not the worst Bond film. I think that might be the extent of the good things that I can say about it.  Actually, that's a lie: I also liked the fact that the bad guys this time round were neither Russians nor Soviets but rather a good ol' British (well, Welsh) mogul, a combination of Robert Maxwell and Rupert Murdoch gone horribly, horribly wrong.  The best thing about this film is the villain, which is always a good sign of a Bond film.  I also do really like Brosnan's Bond.  He's slick and suave.  He's got the confidence and arrogance of previous Bonds, but doesn't push it too far, and is definitely starting to break free of the sexism and racism.  There's definitely a "I've seen this stuff before" feel to the movie overall, but I'm comfortable with the lead, which puts it a bit higher than some of the previous films.

GoldenEye (1995)

Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Judi Dench, Sean Bean, Izabella Scorupco, Famke Janssen

Director: Martin Campbell

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: B

"You don't like me, Bond. You don't like my methods. You think I'm an accountant, a bean counter more interested in my numbers than your instincts." "The thought had occurred to me." "Good, because I think you're a sexist, misogynist dinosaur. A relic of the Cold War, whose boyish charms, though wasted on me, obviously appealed to that young woman I sent out to evaluate you." "Point taken."

How to summarize the plot without spoiling... Nine years after the death of agent 006, Alec Trevelyan (Bean), during an infiltration of a Soviet chemical weapons facility, Bond (Brosnan) is charged with following Xenia Onatopp (Janssen), a member of the Janus crime syndicate.  After killing a Royal Canadian Navy admiral Xenia and a colleague massacre a bunch of people and steal the control disc for the dual GoldenEye satellite weapons, which emits electromagnetic pulses and destroys computers basically.  But, of course, Bond is on the mission, and is aided by the only survivor of the massacre, Natalya Simonov (Scorupco).

My big problem with GoldenEye is that there was a huge set up for the villains to be the Russians.  I got bored with the Soviets as villains in the previous films, I'm not looking forward to it's slightly different but basically the same variation now that the Cold War has ended.  That being said, though, I really like the direction that the movie then decided to go in.  The whole rouge agent plot is awesome, especially if you realize that they did it from the other angel in Licence to Kill, where Bond was the rouge.

My favourite moment in this movie, however, is when M (Dench) called Bond out on his behaviour.  Everything that she said in the line (which I quoted at the top) is exactly what I've been saying for a lot of movies now. Bond is sexist and myogynistic.  He's also a relic of the Cold War simply because so many of these movies have to do with the idea of Soviets/Russians being the villains.  I only hope that by calling him on it M is predicting a change in the movies, a leap forward.  Another thing, weirdly enough, that I liked was that Bond showed no problem with the idea of killing Xenia.  When she was introduced I was kind of worried that they would go the way of May Day (Grace Jones) in A View to Kill, but I was happy that they didn't.  Bond's changing, however slowly.

Licence to Kill (1989)

Starring: Timothy Dalton, Carey Lowell, Robert Davi, Talisa Soto

Director: John Glen

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: B

This was not a Bond film.  It was about 007 and was a part of the franchise, but it wasn't a Bond film, not in the way that we've come to know (and love?) Bond.  In a lot of ways it actually really reminded me of On Her Majesty's Secret Service, except with a better lead.

Bond (Dalton) and his DEA friend Felix Leiter (David Hedison, last seen in Live and Let Die) come together to assist in the capture of drug lord Franz Sanchez (Davi) before going to Leiter's wedding.  All is fine and dandy and the wedding goes off with a hitch... until Sanchez escapes and attacks Leiter and his wife, raping and killing her and having him maimed by a shark.  Bond finds out and embarks on a mission of revenge, without the approval or assistance of MI6 (although Q (Desmond Llewelyn) does pop in for the typical gadget giveaway).  Fortunately, though, he does have the assistance of ex-Army pilot and CIA informant Pam Bouvier (Lowell), because all Bond really needs is a mission, a few gadgets, and hot chick by his side.

There was a lot about this movie that really reminded me of On Her Majesty's Secret Service, although not really in a good way.  There's a lot that seems to be trying to set Bond up as something more than a playboy, and throughout the entire wedding scene I couldn't help but feel like the film was going to end with another wedding scene (and subsequent death), like it's precursor did.  Let me make this clear; I think Bond is somewhat of a sexist pig, constantly going from one sexual conquest to another, at times even having multiple consorts at one time.  It's what makes Bond Bond though, and attempts to change that - especially when they forget that they changed it for the next movie.  There's a sort of consistency that the movies where he's just a playboy has, and a disconnect that the ones where he tries (or pretends) to be something more have.  It's rather annoying.

Playboy issues aside, the whole drug lord revenge plot was both really good and really not Bond.  Part of who Bond is is this element of MI6, and removing him from that in such a way - for the revenge of the death of this woman we've never seen before and this man who we don't really remember from a Bond several movies back.  While I don't mind the idea of Bond going rouge, it just doesn't work as well with the incarnation of this Bond - especially if you think about the emphasis that they put on him being the guy who follows the rules (kind of) in The Living Daylights.  It was a good plot idea, and it was a good movie overall... it just wasn't very Bond-y.

The Living Daylights (1987)

Starring: Timothy Dalton, Joe Don Baker, Maryam d'Abo, Art Malik, John Rhys-Davies, Jeroen Krabbé

Director: John Glen

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: B

The Living Daylights returns us to the USSR and issues with the KGB.  This time, Bond (Dalton) is searching for KGB General Georgi Koskov (Krabbé), who defected to the British only to be abducted and presumably taken back to Moscow.  Being the gentleman that he is, Bond uses cellist Kara Milovy (d'Abo), Koskov's girlfriend, in an attempt to track down Koskov.  He's also been directed to track down General Leonard Pushkin (Rhys-Davies), who has allegedly revived the KGB policy of Smert Spionam, or Death to Spies.  Meanwhile, arms dealer Brad Whitaker (Baker) is in the process of procurring American arms for the Soviets to use in Afghanistan.

Dalton's Bond isn't as slick as his predecessors, both in appearance and technique.  While he's sill got that charm and arrogance he appears to rely more on the gadgets and what not - and while I was willing to forgive the cliches of the earlier movies simply due to their age, I'm less willing to forgive the cliches of these later movies.  Shooting lazer beams out of a car is just lame, regardless of the decade.

Despite the fact that Dalton isn't as slick as Roger Moore was, I think I actually might prefer him.  Yes the movie's cliched, Bond is too dependent on his gadgets, but at least this movie wasn't completely ridiculous and over the top.  You can kind of tell that the filmmakers are trying to shed some of the humour of the earlier Bond films, which given the way the humour's been going in the last few films I don't really see that as being a bad thing.  The Living Daylights isn't nearly as tongue in cheek as it could have been, but it's not as ridiculous either.  It definitely went on a bit long, but I overall enjoyed it.

A View to Kill (1985)

Starring: Roger Moore, Christopher Walken, Tanya Roberts, Grace Jones, Robert Brown

Director: John Glen

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: D

Bond (Moore) is at it again, this time investigating something to do with microchips and atomic bombs and what not and it all really made absolutely no sense to me.  What I did follow, though, was the girl, Stacey Sutton (Roberts), who is the daughter of an oil tycoon whose company has been taken over by the villain, Max Zorin (Walken).  Definitely not my favourite Bond girl, but I did really like Walken as the villain.  I've found that it really doesn't matter what it's in, when Walken acts it's great.  He doesn't necessarily save the movie, but he does make it a bit easier to take.

What helps Walken is the overall stunts.  View's biggest problem is the plot is absurd and Moore is, at this point, becoming a bit old to play the character of Bond, and the overall gender of one of the villains (May Day, played by Grace Jones) makes it so that Bond can't comfortably kill her.  Where the film attempts to redeem itself is in the stunts, which are fun and pretty much what you expect from an 1980s era action film, and Walken is definitely a great villain worthy of a classic Bond film.  In the last few movies I've been a bit bored by the villains and annoyed by the fact that they all either seem to be a part of a government organization or just weird individuals who have too much money.  While Walken's Zorin isn't part of some greater organization like SPECTRE and has ties to the KGB we still at least get some idea of who he is and why he is that way.  Honestly, I didn't think I'd ever say it, but I kind of miss SPECTRE.

A couple notes.  With this film, we're saying good by to a few people.  The most obvious is, of course, Roger Moore, who retires as Bond after this film.  So far, I'd say he is my second favourite Bond, well above  George Lazenby, but far below Sean Connery.  The second goodbye is to Lois Maxwell who played Miss Moneypenny in the first fourteen Bond films.  One of the best parts about these movies is the dynamic between Moneypenny and Bond - the woman who's always present, often flirting, and yet never in Bond's bed.  A far more subtle leaving is Maud Adams, the only Bond girl to appear in three Bond films.  Adams was first seen in The Man in the Golden Gun then again in Octopussy, where she played Bond's love interest of the film, first Andrea Anders then Pussy Galore.  In View she only plays the role of an extra, but it's still significant if only because she's the only Bond girl to appear in three films.

Octopussy (1983)

Starring: Roger Moore, Geoffrey Keen, Maud Adams, Louis Jourdan, Steven Berkoff, Desmond Llewelyn, Kristina Wayborn, Kabir Bedi, Robert Brown, Douglas Wilmer

Director: John Glen

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: C

I went into this movie with a lot of doubt and hesitation.  One of my biggest complaints about this series as a whole has been the depiction of women and I was rather concerned when I saw the title.  I mean... Octopussy?  Really?  It's not the worst name for a woman that the Bond films have used, but it's pretty much up there.  The fact that this is one of the more recent films - it's from the eighties! - makes this a more bothersome fact.  I would hope that these movies would be getting less misogynistic as they go on, but alas.

Octopussy sees Bond (Moore) investigating the murder of another MI6 agent, 009 (Andy Bradford), and the replacement of a Fabergé egg with a fake.  Bond travels the world in order to find 009's killer and... along the way meets a woman named Octopussy (Adams) and uncovers a plot to detonate a nuclear warhead on an American army base.  Along the way there's also a ridiculous bit at the circus, because everyone wants to see Bond dressed up as a clown.

Honestly, I'm really not sure just what the hell happened in this movie.  It was just.... so very, very weird.  I'm not sure if I would say that I disliked it so much as it confused me and left me uninterested.  It tries to be serious but at the same time fails to be so in a way that just doesn't really work.  When it was on I wasn't really annoyed by it, but when it was over I wasn't really disappointed that it was over.  Actually, I was more relieved, which is never really a good sign for a movie.  James Bond, you can do better.

For Your Eyes Only (1981)

Starring: Roger Moore, Julian Glover, Carole Bouquet, Chaim Topol, Lynn-Holly Johnson

Director: John Glen

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: C

James Bond (Moore) is back, this time in an attempt to retrieve the Automatic Targeting Attack Communicator (ATAC) from a British spy boat that has sunk in the Ionian Sea.  While there, Bond must also investigate the deaths of marine archaeologist Sir Timothy Havelock (Jack Hedley), who had been trying to locate the sunk boat for the British prior to his death.  If you suspect that Sir Timothy had a daughter who Bond ends up sleeping with, you'd be right. Her name is Melina (Bouquet), and she covers both For Your Eyes Only's racist and misogynist components.  Honestly, a part of me is starting to wonder if I'll miss the misogamy and racism once we start to get to the really contemporary films.  Rounding out the film is Greek intelligence informant Aristotle Kristatos (Glover), who guides Bond in Greece, Kristatos' protegee, figure skater Bibi Dahl (Johnson), smuggler Milos Columbo (Topol), and Columbo's mistress Countess Lisl von Schlaf (Cassandra Harris).  Surprisingly, only one of the two women in that list sleep with Bond, although not for lack of trying, but I'm not going to tell you which one fails to succeed.

A review of For Your Eyes Only by Derek Malcolm in The Guardian states that the movie is "too long...and pretty boring between the stunts."  This is pretty much exactly how I felt about For Your Eyes.  The stunts themselves were cool, but the movie overall was just long, dull, boring, and forgettable.  Having watched it all I can say is that I don't really care about it enough to comment much on it. It was unremarkable, and to comment further would be to pay too much attention to such a movie.  I will say, though, that I'm looking forward to being done with the Roger Moore Bonds.  I'm not a big fan of his.

Finding Nemo (2003)

Starring: Albert Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Alexander Gould

Director: Andrew Stanton

Genre: Animation, Adventure, Comedy

Rating: A

"P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney! You asked me where I'm going? OK, I'll tell you: P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney! That's where I'm going!" 

Oh, my God, I love this movie.  It's definitely my favourite Pixar film and one of my favourite animated films of all time.  It's cute, it's funny, it's sad... it's really the whole package.  While I'm not sure if I would say that it's everything I want from a film it's definitely got so much going on that the entire time I'm watching it I'm completely submerged in it, and when I'm done watching it I'm still quoting from it.  It's the kind of movie that makes me excited about watching movies.

On the Great Barrier Reef lives a clownfish, Marlin (Brooks), and his son, Nemo (Gould).  Marlin is horribly overprotective as the result of the death of Nemo's mother, some years earlier, and thinks that Nemo isn't as capable because of a bad fin.  Nemo responds exactly as you would expect - and rebels, which leads to him being abducted by a scuba diving human.  In his journey to find his son, Marlin meets Dory (DeGeneres), a fish with a severe memory issue who helps him find his son.

The thing that really makes this movie great is Dory.  The role was written for Ellen DeGeneres and it's one that I really can't imagine anyone else playing - which is saying a lot, given as it's voice acting.  Someone else could have easily done any and every other role in Nemo as well as the actors cast, but DeGeneres really steals the show.  After seeing this movie I'm always left quoting her lines, or singing "just keep swimming" - and I even have a friend who can often be heard trying to speak whale, regardless of the presence of actual whales.  Dory just makes this movie awesome.

Dory, however, isn't the full movie.  There's also this insanely amount of detail put into it.  I love the shots of the Reef and the way that the fish in and out of water looked different - although, I did think that they didn't do much to differentiate between in and out of water when not dealing with fish, which does kind of take away from the fish thing a bit.  The supporting characters are also amazing.  I love the sharks and the turtles and the seagulls - God, I love the seagulls.  The way the seagulls are portrayed is just so perfectly and exactly what you think a seagull is saying.  This movie is like those seagulls - pretty much perfect.

Moonraker (1979)

Starring: Roger Moore, Michael Lonsdale, Lois Chiles, Richard Kiel, Bernard Lee

Director: Lewis Gilbert

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: C+

Bond (Moore) is back, this time investigating the disappearance of the space shuttle Moonraker.  His investigation brings causes him to look into Hugo Drax (Lonsdale), the owner of the company that made the shuttle, and Dr. Holly Goodhead (Chiles), an astronaut who is also investigating the disappearance.  Guess who turns out to be the bad guy and who turns out to screw Bond.

I think at this point the Bond movies are beginning to fall into a bit of a tired forumla; they open with something that probably has little to do with the current film (but might tie into the last one) and usually features Bond about to sleep with some woman, credits role, Bond is given a mission, he meets the bad guy who is pretending to not be the bad guy, he meets the woman, he flirts heavily with the woman while defeating the bad guy then screws the woman and all is good.  Honestly, it gets kind of boring after awhile.

Frequent Bond screenwriter Richard Maibaum has said of this movie that "[w]ith Moonraker, we went too far in the outlandish," which means that I'm allowed to critique Moonraker for its outlandish-ness.  I've criticized previous films for their outrageousness and it's been a frequent comment in these reviews that I've found myself saying "are you fucking serious."  While I've been trying to just go with it, in Moonraker I was back at the "are you fucking serious" state as problem after problem piled up.  I did enjoy the ending, I will admit that, but I wasn't really a fan of the journey to get to it.  It was, as Mauibaum put, "too far in the outlandish."  Even with a suspended disbelief, I couldn't really bring myself on board to the whole concept.

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

Starring: Roger Moore, Barbara Bach, Curd Jürgens, Richard Kiel, Geoffrey Keen, Walter Gotell, Bernard Lee

Director: Lewis Gilbert

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: B

Where to start... Okay, well, credit where credit is due.  Once I stopped taking the series seriously I did in fact start enjoying them more.  I somehow doubt that I'll ever be a big Bond fan, but I'm not hating the movies so that's something.  I'm also really starting to enjoy Moore's Bond, possibly even more than Connery's (as I type this I can practically hear my brother shaking his head with disappointment).

Bond (Moore) is at it again, this time pairing up with his Soviet, female counterpart. When British and Soviet subs start mysteriously disappearing Bond is summoned by MI6 and Major Anya Amasova (Bach) is summoned by the KGB in order to investigate.   The two team up and eventually discover that scientist and anarchist Karl Stromberg (Jürgens) is behind it all.  It's up to the two of them to stop Stromberg and have hot sexy times, although not necessarily at the same time.

So, as it has become impossible for me to broach a Bond movie without mentioning the sexy times, let's start with a discussion of the Major, also known as Triple X.  This was probably the first Bond film where I felt that the relationship with the woman was neither demeaning to her nor out of context with the series.  So far, Barbara Bach just might be my favourite Bond girl.  She was a strong, independent woman who just happened to screw around with Bond during their mission.  He didn't demean her by doing things like hide her in a closet while he sleeps with another woman, and she also serves as more than just a damsel in distress for Bond to save.  In this movie I really felt like Bond found someone equal to him.

What else... the action was fun, although I would appreciate it if Bond movies stopped having underwater lairs.  These movies tend to be a bit repetitive, or at least the villains are.  Either they're really ridiculous and have me going "are you fucking serious" or it's the same thing over and over.  Plus the whole concept of an underwater lair makes for lame action sequences.  It's a pain to determine who's fighting who and the like when everyone's underwater wearing scuba gear.  Just saying.  While we were saved from this in Spy it wasn't from lack of trying.

The Expendables 2 (2012)

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Stratham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Chuck Norris, Liam Hemsworth, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Director: Simon West

Genre: Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rating: C

Okay, so I actually really enjoyed this movie.  Like it's predecessor, The Expendables 2 is lame and ridiculous in its plot, but it's also fun and action packed.  I saw this with my little brother and he made the comment that he thought some of the action sequences were extended just so that the movie could be a full length film; I on the other hand thought that the dramatic sequences were extended for the same purpose.

Barney Ross (Stallone) and his crew are back, this time joined by new comer Billy (Hemsworth).  Ross is approached by Church (Willis), who gives him a mission that he's forced to accept - following the events in The Expendables Ross owes Church.  The Expendables travel to Albania to retrieve an item from a safe in a downed plane; they're joined by technical expert Maggie Chan (Yu Nan).  Things go to this from there, and the Expendables come across arms dealer Jean Vilain (Van Damme).

Once again, this movie is lame and ridiculous.  It's fun though, and the action sequences were great.  I actually really liked that I saw it with my brother; periodically we'd turn to each other and make a comment, often along the lines of "do you think x is going to happen, or y?"  The Expendables 2 is horribly predictable, pulling out all the classics of an action movie, but it succeeds in remaining fun while it does so.  My favourite part of the film was the one liners and the fact that they made fun of themselves.  There was probably at least one part of the movie - a stunt, a line, whatever - referencing some other movie that the major players were in.

My one problem with the film is that Liam Hemswroth doesn't really fit into this movie, and sadly not in a good way.  His character clashes with the overall tone of the film and, to be honest, I really didn't buy him as an ex-soldier turned mercenary.  I understood the significance of the character, I just didn't really feel Hemsworth in the role.  He didn't fit in.