Tuesday, 12 June 2012

The Perfect Man (2005)

Courtesy of Wikipedia
Stars: Hilary Duff, Heather Locklear, Chris Noth, Mike O'Malley, Ben Feldman, Vanessa Lengies
Director: Mark Rosman
Genre: Comedy, Family, Romance
Rating: D

Is there such thing as a good Hilary Duff movie?  I’ve watched a good many of her movies and I usually enjoy them.  The acting’s not great and the story’s not great, but it’s fun and there’s usually good (albeit pop-y) music.  The Perfect Man, however doesn’t really meet those standards.  The acting isn’t good, the story isn’t good, it isn’t overly fun, and the music… the soundtrack has four Styx songs.  This should be a life lesson: if the soundtrack of a movie depends heavily on Styx don’t see it.  It’s probably not worth it.

Jean (Locklear) is pretty much a serial monogamous.  She enters into relationships with questionable men then, when things don’t work out, she picks up her life and moves.  While this semi-nomadic life appears to work for her, it does not work for her two daughters, Holly (Duff) and Zoe (Aria Wallace), who both long for stability.  Once settled in their newest home Holly devises a plan with new friend Amy (Lengies) to essentially trick her mother into staying.  Using the wisdom of Amy’s Uncle Ben (Noth) Holly creates a fictional admirer for her mother, so that they won’t enter into the usual pattern.  Hijinks ensue as Holly must work to keep her mother from meeting the real Ben and dissuade Jean from considering the many advances of co-worker and Styx fan, Lenny (O’Malley).  Throughout all of this, she also meets a cute boy (Feldman) who shows interest in her, and must deal with her feelings for him in competition with her fear of getting too attached to one place.  Oh, and she comes to determine that the real Ben is perfect for her mother, despite the fact that he appears to be engaged to another woman.

Even by the standards of your typical Hilary Duff movie, this is a pretty bad movie.  The plot is ludicrous and one has to question just how Holly is capable of keeping all her lies straight (there are a few moments when it really seems like if Jean was in any way intelligent she would be able to figure out that ‘Ben’ was fake).  You also have to question the believability of Locklear as a woman with the kind of dating history that she has.  I have no problem buying her as a serial monogamous or regularly in bad relationships.  She really seems more of the type to date the hot douche (in line with the kind of men that Locklear seems to date in reality) and not the bumbling idiot.  There’s also no real explanation for why some of the men that she dates are so horrible.  Yes, Lenny is a Styx fan and that’s questionable in itself, but despite the fact that he’s not really the brightest and doesn’t have the best taste he actually seems like he’s a pretty good guy.  In the land of a Duff movie, though, balding Styx fans are not respectable potential step-fathers.  Oh, also, as the film is set in… some part of New York where the accents are particularly horrendous, this movie also features Canadian actors with really bad fake New York accents.  Between the accents and the music, it is highly likely that this film might make your ears bleed.

No comments:

Post a Comment